The Zachtastic Movie Blog

As January continues to move forward, so does the onslaught of sub-par films that plague cinema this time of year. The Forest and Norm of the North have already let me down significantly; however, as far as The 5th Wave is concerned, I was actually pretty excited. I tend to enjoy dystopian sci-fi flicks, and from the trailer it seemed to have a good vibe. A couple of my friends also told me that the source material was very good, so that accentuated my intrigue for sure. Now that the film adaptation of The 5th Wave is in theaters, does it live up to expectations as being the first big action picture of 2016? Cassie (Chloe Grace-Moretz) is an “average high school girl”—as she appropriately describes herself in the first act—whose life is one day turned on its head. A mysterious space station suddenly arrives in the Earth’s atmosphere, and mankind eventually labels its occupants as the “Others.” Over time, this alien race begins its assault on humanity by utilizing variou...

As a film critic, there are some occasions in which I just have to suffer for my readers. The caption of my blog states that I “[sort] through all of the crap, so that you don’t have to,” and I remain firm to that statement. With Norm of the North ’s release, I feel that I am doing a huge favor to you by having subjected myself to one of the worst animated films I have ever seen. Forgive me for being so frank with you fellow readers in my initial paragraph, but I want to make things clear that this will not be a positive review by far. Without further delay, here are my thoughts on what will surely end up being one of the worst films of the entire year. Norm (Rob Schneider) is a polar bear who is often the brunt of every bad joke in his community. He doesn’t know how to hunt, he is too kind towards humans, and his talent for twerking is a hysterical joke among other Arctic animals. However, things take an interesting turn for his life when he learns that a maniacal land de...

As each year passes by, there are always some films that I get excited about more than others. I have a unique situation for 2016’s release docket though, for since I was on a religious mission for the past two years I didn’t have much time to think about what I was excited for--nor was I aware of what was coming. Because of this, I have formulated a list of five 2016 releases that I am most intrigued about, as opposed to how I would normally create a list of ten. Without further ado, I hope that I may shed some light upon what I am excited to see on the big screen this year. #5 - 10 Cloverfield Lane (March 11) Bear in mind that the trailer for 10 Cloverfield Lane was just released last night, so my intrigue is still notably fresh. Cloverfield was a movie that genuinely scared me, and I really enjoyed it upon my first (and only) viewing back in 2008. I had absolutely no idea that a spin-off was being released though, so seeing this trailer delightfully surprised me. I woul...

As many of you already probably know, I was very satisfied with how Star Wars: The Force Awakens turned out. Sure, the shock and grandeur of seeing a Hollywood blockbuster (let alone a new Star Wars film) were still quite fresh for me after having been released from my full-time mission just hours earlier, but that did not really change the fact that I felt it was a genuinely fulfilling experience. Many also feel the same , although I can empathize and agree with those that have not. I intend this blog to be an open forum where anyone can express their opinions on film without being judged, criticized or maligned by obsessive fanboys/girls. Star Wars is one of those franchises that suffers from such inconsiderate followers, so I would expect courtesy to those who disagree with your opinion. Extraneous introductions aside, I pose one question for you: is there one right way to experience The Force Awakens in normal cinemas? I would argue that there isn’t, because this c...

I suppose I returned home from my mission at the proper time, because now I have the privilege of seeing the entire year of 2016 unravel for cinema. As usual for how January generally turns out, the first legitimate weekend for new releases is headed by a horror film: this time around, it’s a supernatural thriller called The Forest . Starring Natalie Dormer, whom most will recognize from her recent work in both parts of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay , is the first major release of 2016 one that will start things off with a horrifying bang? Sara Price (Natalie Dormer) is a nice young woman who has a twin sister named Jess (also played by Dormer). The two have seen many sorrows together, especially after having tragically lost their parents at an early age. At this current stage of their adult lives, Jess is living in Tokyo as an English teacher while Sara remains in the United States with her husband. One day though, Sara learns that Jess has disappeared; to make matters wor...

Acclaimed filmmaker David O. Russell, along with acting talents Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro, have once again come together to deliver us some powerhouse cinema. These individuals have given us award-winning films including Silver Linings Playbook and American Hustle , and now they intend on impressing us once again with Joy —an ambitious (semi-fictional) biopic about the woman who invented the Miracle Mop. Serving as a backdrop for parallels to our modern society, does Joy succeed at telling the great rags-to-riches story we all need to hear from time to time? Joy (Jennifer Lawrence) is a certifiable genius, having invented various useful devices in the past and deemed as valedictorian in her graduating class. However, life leading up to the early 1990s had taken many unfair turns for her—she had gone through a divorce, takes care of literally her entire dysfunctional family, works as a booking agent for an airline, and the list goes on. For Joy, ...